Time Out

Need I say more?

Cathy

More pictures!

I drove into Seattle today to Cancer Care Alliance for my first mammogram since my breast cancer journey began.  I had the dreaded mammogram and was sent to the dressing room to wait for the radiologist to review everything. The nurse came back to my room and told me the doctor wanted to take more pictures!  That's when the fear rushed in!  I was suddenly reliving 5 1/2 months ago when during a routine mammogram I was told the very same thing - the doctor wanted more pictures  - which eventually led to discovering a mass.  

So now here I was hearing it again. Another mammogram was taken and then the wait.  After what seemed like forever the doctor came in and said the most beautiful words in the universe - all is NORMAL!!  I was so relieved!  

Why the Lord doesn't just make things simple and easy I don't know!  I guess He's always testing, stretching and  strengthening our faith to trust Him.  Sometimes I do well - sometimes I don't - but I'm trying! Whatever His reasons - I'm just so thankful and happy I am cancer free!  Wahoo!!

Flowers + Sunshine = Silver Lining

I hope you're enjoying the beautiful  flowers and sunshine

and finding the *silver lining* in everything you do :)

~ Cathy

His Plan

Have you ever had one of those nights where you toss and turn and just can't get to sleep?  The other night was one of those nights for me. Finally I got up and decided to read for awhile thinking maybe that would make me sleepy.  I really had nothing in mind so I went to my bookcase and immediately saw my mother's Bible.  I pulled it out and opened the well-worn cover and taped on the inside page was a poem.  This is what it said:

HIS PLAN

When I stand at the judgment seat of Christ,

And He shows me His plan for me

The plan of my life as it might have been

Had He had His way, and I see

How I blocked Him here, and I checked Him there,

And I would not yield my will - 

Will there be grief in my Savior's eyes,

Grief, though He loves me still?

He would have me rich, and I stand there poor,

Stripped of all but His grace,

While memory runs like a hunted thing

Down the paths I cannot retrace.

Then my desolate heart will well-nigh break

With tears that I cannot shed;

I shall cover my face with my empty hands,

I shall bow my uncrowned head . . .

Lord, of the years that are left to me

I give them to Thy hand

Take me and break me, mold me to

The pattern Thou hast planned.

Next to the poem mom had written her name. This was so like her. This was truly her heart. She lived her life centered around a desire to be in the center of God's will - to focus on eternal things as her utmost priority.  

How I've often wished I could be more like her.  I tend to get caught up in the enjoyment of life - family, things, friends, fun, and the busyness of it all.  Not that any of those things are wrong . . . the Lord wants all of us to live joyful and fulfilled lives.  But where my mom most often saw the eternal value in every day life - I tend to not always be aware of it.  I know I miss many opportunitites that come my way to hear His voice, to show His kindness, to see people I pass through His eyes. To be His hands extended.

My prayer is  . . . some day I will live my life more like my mom modeled - with eternal value always in my heart and on my mind  . . . and have a blast doing it!

Happy Mother's Day Mom ~ Cathy

I'm Learning That . . .

I'm learning that . . .

Hardship is awful when you're in it,

 but He uses our struggles to build things in us that

I'm not sure could happen without them.

I'm learning that . . .

My joy and peace comes from being connected to Him, 

and knowing He is in control, and He is good

 no matter what I may face.

I'm learning that . . . 

The peace He's given me these past few months 

despite breast cancer has changed me.

It doesn't mean I haven't struggled but

I'm learning to trust the hardest parts of my story, 

and it is beautiful.

~ Cathy

God''s Hands Extended

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Poo?" he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be there for you."

~ A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

  This cancer journey has thus far been at times difficult, painful, and fearful, yet I can honestly say that I have never felt more loved and cared for in my life. Yes - it's been so hard at times but it has also been filled with joy as I've experienced the love of Jesus through so many who have come along side and walked it with me. The outpouring of love, many acts of kindness, sacrificial giving of time, driving me to and from Seattle, the prayers, the meals, the flowers, the encouraging gifts, the cards, phone calls and texts, have all meant so much and made this journey more precious as each one truly was God's hands extended to me! Thank you doesn't seem quite enough but please know my heart is truly grateful.  I have seen Jesus in each friend and family member who has walked this journey with me.  My heart is overwhelmed with gratefulness.

A scripture quilt made for me by some very special friends.       ~ Cathy

Spring Has Sprung

Done with the Burn!

I am officially done with radiation treatments! Woop! Woop!  The daily drive to Seattle for weeks and weeks, the burned skin and blisters are now over!! The healing begins!  My journey continues with oncology appointments. every three months, mammograms twice a year, and daily pills for the next five years. I am now considered a breast cancer survivor and I plan to be one for many years to come!! 
~ Cathy

This Says It All

Why am I smiling?

"Why am I smiling? Because it's a beautiful day for a drive to Seattle for my daily radiation treatment.  It's a beautiful day to be alive.  It's a beautiful day to be thankful to the Lord for walking this cancer journey with me.  It's a beautiful day to be grateful and overwhelmed at the kindness of friends and family who are praying and encouraging me along this new journey of my life.  It's a beautiful day!" 

I posted this picture and quote on Facebook one morning when I was feeling really good and my faith in the Lord was strong.  Then I went to hop in the shower and get ready for the day. As I looked down at my swollen, painful, and scarred body I started to cry.  I told the Lord, "I hate having cancer!" My tears mixed with the shower water and I cried over the pain, I cried over not understanding why I have to go through cancer, I cried over being so scared, and I cried over other emotions that I had been dealing with since I got the news that I had breast cancer.  It was only when I had depleted myself did the Lord gently say to me, "Just trust me Cathy." I know what I am doing and I have you in the palm of my hand."

Once again like so many times before the Lord heard my cry and he gave me the strength I needed to face the day. We may think we are strong but it just takes a moment for the doubt to come rushing in and fill us with fear and emotions we thought we had conquered!  But the Word says, "When I am weak He is strong!" I am so thankful I have Jesus to walk beside me! 

BTW - It really did end up being a beautiful day!   ~ Cathy 

Birthday Girls

 Sometimes all I need to bring a smile to my face and happiness in my heart 

is to spend a day with my grandchildren.  

This day was no exception!

Celebrating birthdays with my two youngest granddaughters. 

Love these precious little girls!

~ Happy Happy Birthday ~

Love, Grammy

Can I get off, please?

If I can conquer my fears on this zip-line . . . 
I can conquer any fear I have over breast cancer!

And I did it! 

~ Cathy

Just what the doctor ordered!

I went cruising!  Yep!  After these past few weeks of awful news my husband and I hit the beaches of the Caribbean!  And what fun it was! This trip had been planned for over a year with some very special friends and I wasn't about to let cancer stop me from going!  I did ask my doctors if I could go. . . but I might have gone even if they would of said NO! Oh, not really but I sure did not want to miss my very first cruise! The beautiful crystal blue Caribbean waters, the sunshine, the tropical scenery, and the fun we had with our dear friends made the trip so special.  And don't forget the unlimited food!  Yes!  Feasts of yummy delights that were offered . . . and the best part was . . .you could have as much as you wanted!  The first few days I stuffed myself til I was miserable but after awhile I learned to control my over indulgence!  (Kind of!)

My very first cruise was more wonderful than I could of imagined!  By the way . . . did I happen to mention that I got sick and was in my cabin for two days?  Oh well - I would do it over again for the joy and fun we experienced!  It really was just what the doctor ordered! Can't wait until we go again!   ~ Cathy

  

Best Christmas Ever

I love Christmas! It's the most special holiday of the year to me. Several years ago once my three children were grown and married we began a Christmas tradition that on Christmas morning they and their families would come over for a Christmas brunch.  Because of my recent cancer diagnosis a very special friend had volunteered to give up her Christmas morning to bring that brunch to my family - all 18 of us!  That sacrificial act of giving up her Christmas morning to bring us breakfast was overwhelmingly kind.  The food arrived around 10:30 am that morning and my children and grandchildren arrived soon after.  After hugs and greetings were given I ushered them into the dining room where the food was hot and waiting.  As each one came to the table I saw that they were all still wearing their coats. Before I could say anything about that every one of them threw off their jackets and all were wearing pink t-shirts that said, "TEAM CATHY". I was overwhelmed with emotion and immediately began to cry.  They too, l had tears in their eyes as we hugged and I expressed gratitude for the beautiful Christmas gift of love they had just given me.  Christmas is about Jesus birth and the precious gift God gave to us.  My family is a precious gift to me that I cherish deeply and - cancer or no cancer - this definitely was one of the best Christmas' I have ever had! 

 ~ Merry Christmas ~

~ Cathy

The Day My World Changed

It was the week before Thanksgiving and I had my grocery list written and ready to go buy the food needed for my Thanksgiving dinner. I first had to stop by the medical center and get my once-a-year mammogram,  and then I'd be on my way shopping. The mammogram went as usual - the awful squishing of the boobs - but this time I was told they wanted to do an untrasound too. OK. That was taken and before I knew it the radiologist had come in and told me they had found a mass in my left breast. What did that mean?  He said a biopsy needed to be done. That was scheduled for the following week.

The fear was overwhelming and the waiting was unbearable.  We had Thanksgiving as usual and I didn't say anything to my children.  Why worry them if it wasn't necessary, right?  Finally the day came and my husband and I went in to find out the results.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. McBroom, the results show you have breast cancer." That was the day my world changed.

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I was in shock. And I was scarred!  The next few weeks were spent finding doctors, scheduling appointments and trying to adjust with the fact I have cancer.  The big "C" word word had always scarred me and it was so very hard to believe that I now had it.  My breast looked the same as always - no lumps, no sore spots - maybe they had made a mistake?  But no, it was real - I had breast cancer!

Sharing the news with my grown children was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  The anguish and shock on their faces said it all.  I tried to be strong and encouraging to them while all the while shaking on the inside with my own fears.  At this point we didn't know what stage, how advanced, and what my prognosis was.

As it turned out, I had Stage One, Invasive Carcinoma.  My onocologist said that the tumor was very small and it was a very good thing they caught it early.  Surgery was scheduled for January.

Within the week of my diagnosis my father-in-law died suddenly.  Two major blows so close together.  Our hearts were broken as we headed to Tennessee for the funeral.  We returned home the week before Christmas.  How could I find joy this Christmas season with so much saddness?

Sometimes life is just overwhelming! It's almost more than we can handle.  In the midst of trials and pain - only the Lord's comfort, and his strength can get us through.

Praying this Christmas season will be one of overwhelming PEACE & JOY.

~ Cathy

Let the leaves fall

I'm ready for . . .

hoodies, hot cocoa

boots, jeans, warm scarves

 cozy blankets,

crisp air, flushed checks

pumpkin patches, falling leaves

books, a roaring fire

football and holidays

It's that time of year again where the days are getting shorter, the leaves are turning beautiful colors of red, yellow and orange, and the air is crisp and clean.  Fall is here!  This time of year ushers in some of the best holidays of the year! Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas!  When I think of fall I think expectation! Expectation of coming months and how much I love them!  ~ Cathy

I Dare You

I am recopying this post from one I recently read that is a beautiful reminder to us to always be aware of the opportunities God gives us to share his love with others.

(Written by Amy Byrd)  

She sat next to me on the plane. She sat at the window, and me, in the dreaded middle seat (I always have a hard time figuring out the arm rest when I sit in the middle.) :)

Although we were politely keeping to ourselves at first---We bonded instantly as we both laughed at the guy on my other side. He was  snoring so loudly that our seats were vibrating before the plane even took off, poor guy.

That’s all it took.

She began to share her story.  He cheated, lied and betrayed her. Now, here she was . . . starting over.  I could see in her eyes that she still could not believe that what once was an African Safari honeymoon, has now turned into a move across the country to start all over again. 

For a moment, her lips were moving and I was literally talking to God while she was talking and didn’t hear several seconds of what she had just said.  I felt so strongly God had put us together.  He knows everything of mine and with calculated intention intercepted our lives. 

This makes me feel more challenged than ever to speak words of life into others.

It’s so easy to exchange a few pleasantries with someone near you.  Might I dare to see someone near as an opportunity?  Might I dare to be a woman that would not only allow kindness to come from my mouth but Truth to be shared?

I love this "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

I want to have that kind of courage and listening ear to God's voice so when He puts someone in my path I will share kindness and Truth. ~ Cathy

Vacation Here We Come!

If I were to choose a destination for a summer vacation you probably wouldn't think I'd choose a hot, dusty campground in Northern California.  But I did!  And it was one of the best vacations I've ever had!  Why?  Because I was with the man I love, my three grown children and their spouses, and my ten grandchildren!!  With everyone so busy in their lives we very seldom get together for more than just an evening or a holiday.  So the time I got to spend with them was very precious!  

When our kids were growning up we always went to Lake Siskiyou near Mt. Shasta every summer for big family campouts.  Grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. came and joined us and through the years we we made so many happy memories together.  But as the kids got older and had families of their own we eventually stopped going. So this summer we all decided to go back and make some new memories with the grandkids that had never been there.  So we piled in our cars and off we drove down to California. 

After a long nine hour drive we all pitched our tents in a big dusty, group campsite. It had the familiar smell of fresh air and pine needles that brought back so many memories of long ago. And then we spent the week relaxing and just enjoying one another. 

We sat around the campfire and reminisced, we laughed, we played games, we swam, we laid in the hot sun, we hiked, we fished, we played beach volleyball, built sand castles with the little ones, and talked about the goodness of the Lord.  We just vegged out!  No time schedules, no TVs, no computers, no video games, no distractions - just each other!  And it was wonderful!! 

I am so very blessed to have such an awesome family that I love deeply and can share life with. And now another generation has come to Lake Siskiyou and made some wonderful camping memories of their own.

And so the tradition continues!

I loved it!

Cathy

Seahawks Fever

It's was a great day when my husband and I got to go to the Seahawk Camp as a guests of one of the players!  We were able to be right on the field and saw a day full of action and fun as well as free food and  lots of introductions to some of the many players!

Never thought I'd get this close to Russell Wilson and some of the other Seahawks but found out no matter how famous - most seemed like really nice guys!  Go Hawks!!  ~ Cathy

Days of Spring

Snuggles & Sleepovers

There is just something about having my grandkids over for a sleepover that puts the world right once more!  They make me smile!  They make my heart happy! I become a kid again, running around the yard playing Tag or Hide & Seek with them.  Watching them jump on the trampoline laughing makes me want to get up there and jump with them.  (Which I can't!)  We make forts out of blankets, we sing, we dance, we laugh and be silly! I love every minute of it! Finally, when they are all worn out we snuggle up on the couch with a cozy blanket and a bowl of popcorn and watch movies together. What fun we have on nights like this!

I love being with each and every one of my ten grandkids.  Now, grant it, the older ones don't want to play Hide & Seek anymore or snuggle up with "Grammy" on the couch - but it's still so fun hanging out with them and having that special time together whatever we do!

 I cherish each and every sleepover I get to have with these precious children and teenagers!  I know all too soon they will grow up and the sleepovers will end.  Humm . . . maybe someday I will  just have to do this with my great-grandchildren!  Oh my!  I will really be old then!

I love my grandkids!   ~ Cathy (a.k.a. "Grammy")

~ Like Rain Falling on the Sunshine ~

        I love Spring!   ~    Cathy

Just Breathe

    I took the day off today to  breathe.

Breathe in being just me and exhale the stress that has entwined itself around my mind.

         Unwind. Regroup. Relax.

 My body and mind needed it desperately.

If you know me well, you know I've been helping caregive my 93 year old father.  Just recently he was in the hospital with Congestive Heart Failure.  He's home now and doing better.  But going through this with him has taken a toll not only on my normal everyday life but on my heart, too.

I feel like I'm in the "Groundhog Day" movie;

getting up and doing the same thing over and over and over again, 

day after day after day.

I'm not complaining.

Really, I'm not.

The hours spent with my Dad are treasured and cherished.

But I'm feeling overwhelmed and sad, knowing his life,

his memory, and his heart will only continue to grow

more tired as time goes on.

So, I do what must be done.

Each morning I go over and give him his pills

I cook him meals, I clean his apartment, I do his laundry

I take him to doctor appointments and the many other little

things that need to be done for him each day.

Sometimes we go for drives

sometimes we walk around Costco

 (he likes to eat the samples) 

we've even gone to Starbucks and

sat and had coffee together.

Many times we just sit and talk.

Mostly he talks and I listen to the many stories of his past

that I've heard over and over again.

But I continue to listen.

 

 He is no longer the strong, invincible father of my childhood.

I am the strong one and he, the weak.
But he is still the most kind, gentle, and sweet father
he's always been.
(With just a touch of stubbornness thrown in!)

 

I will continue to do my part in making these twilight days

of his life as happy as I can because I know each day I have left with him

is a "GIFT".

  I just needed this day to breathe. 
 

Thank you, Lord.

Cathy

                                                                             

P.S.  What did I do today to unwind, regroup, relax?  Why . . . I wrote this blog! 

My Beautiful Sister ~

It's funny how so many memories come back to you once you loose someone you love.  Memories you hadn't thought about in years.  Memories that make you smile and sometimes laugh out loud. Memories that bring tears to your eyes with sadness yet happiness at having known and loved someone so special.  I have been living in those memories this past week as they've come rushing in waves as I've thought about my sister Linda. She recently lost her long and hard fought battle with Lupus and it's many complications. 

Linda was 10 years old when I was born and I grew up idolizing her like a little sister does. She was funny, kind, talented and beautiful.  She was everything I wanted to be like. When I was nine years old she got married and moved to California.  I missed her so much and every year our family would drive down to visit her. Many years later my mom told me that on those trips I would cry all the way home and make everyone else in the car miserable because I didn't want to leave her. Those separations lasted over the course of the next 49 years as we continued to live out of state from one another. Yet, we stayed connected and close in ways only sisters can.  There were many plane trips back and forth from Washington to California and eventually North Carolina where she moved. Our families went camping together, the two of us spent time in Hawaii together three different times exploring three different islands.  We took vacations together with our husbands . . . .  We tried hard to spend as much time as we could even though we lived apart.

It was amazing how much we were alike.  Both of us loved to eat! We both loved to shop, to explore, to read, to watch sappy movies, to lay on the beach and get dark tans.  We both loved history - especially Civil War history.  We once took a trip with our husbands to Virginia and Washington DC and explored all the Civil War battlefields and stayed in old Plantation B & B's.  What fun we had!  My last vacation to see her was about a year and half ago and even though by then she was in a wheel chair, we still got out and went to the beach, enjoyed the sunshine and ate our favorite meal - fish and chips with gobs of tarter sauce!  So many happy memories . . .

When we got the call from her husband a little over a week ago that she was back in the hospital and we might want to come see her - I didn't hesitate. But I never, ever thought I was going back to North Carolina see her die.  She had always bounced back no matter what she faced.  I just knew she would again - but this time . . . she didn't.  I am so thankful I got that one last day with her.  She knew I was there and we talked, held hands and shared love.  At one point she looked up and said, "Hobby Lobby" - one of our favorite stores.  We both smiled.

There was a season in Linda's life where she lost her faith.  She walked away from what she had been taught as a child.  My mom and family never stopped praying and years later she returned to her faith in God. A testament to the power of a praying mother.  A few hours before she died she started quoting the words to an old hymn, "Precious Lord, Take My Hand".  Her husband, her two daughters, my brother and myself gathered around her bed and started singing that old hymn.  It goes like this:

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on,
Let me stand
I'm tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm,

 Through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, 

                                                                                                 Lead me home ~

Linda was tired, she was weak, and she was worn.  And I know the Lord did lead her home to Heaven where she is now well, blissfully happy, and in the presence of Jesus, surrounded by so many precious people she loves.  Someday I will see her again.  

Until then, my wonderful big sister ~ I will always hold you close to my heart.  

Cathy