It's funny how so many memories come back to you once you loose someone you love. Memories you hadn't thought about in years. Memories that make you smile and sometimes laugh out loud. Memories that bring tears to your eyes with sadness yet happiness at having known and loved someone so special. I have been living in those memories this past week as they've come rushing in waves as I've thought about my sister Linda. She recently lost her long and hard fought battle with Lupus and it's many complications.
Linda was 10 years old when I was born and I grew up idolizing her like a little sister does. She was funny, kind, talented and beautiful. She was everything I wanted to be like. When I was nine years old she got married and moved to California. I missed her so much and every year our family would drive down to visit her. Many years later my mom told me that on those trips I would cry all the way home and make everyone else in the car miserable because I didn't want to leave her. Those separations lasted over the course of the next 49 years as we continued to live out of state from one another. Yet, we stayed connected and close in ways only sisters can. There were many plane trips back and forth from Washington to California and eventually North Carolina where she moved. Our families went camping together, the two of us spent time in Hawaii together three different times exploring three different islands. We took vacations together with our husbands . . . . We tried hard to spend as much time as we could even though we lived apart.
It was amazing how much we were alike. Both of us loved to eat! We both loved to shop, to explore, to read, to watch sappy movies, to lay on the beach and get dark tans. We both loved history - especially Civil War history. We once took a trip with our husbands to Virginia and Washington DC and explored all the Civil War battlefields and stayed in old Plantation B & B's. What fun we had! My last vacation to see her was about a year and half ago and even though by then she was in a wheel chair, we still got out and went to the beach, enjoyed the sunshine and ate our favorite meal - fish and chips with gobs of tarter sauce! So many happy memories . . .
When we got the call from her husband a little over a week ago that she was back in the hospital and we might want to come see her - I didn't hesitate. But I never, ever thought I was going back to North Carolina see her die. She had always bounced back no matter what she faced. I just knew she would again - but this time . . . she didn't. I am so thankful I got that one last day with her. She knew I was there and we talked, held hands and shared love. At one point she looked up and said, "Hobby Lobby" - one of our favorite stores. We both smiled.
There was a season in Linda's life where she lost her faith. She walked away from what she had been taught as a child. My mom and family never stopped praying and years later she returned to her faith in God. A testament to the power of a praying mother. A few hours before she died she started quoting the words to an old hymn, "Precious Lord, Take My Hand". Her husband, her two daughters, my brother and myself gathered around her bed and started singing that old hymn. It goes like this:
Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on,
Let me stand
I'm tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm,
Lead me on,
Let me stand
I'm tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm,
Through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord,
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord,
Lead me home ~
Linda was tired, she was weak, and she was worn. And I know the Lord did lead her home to Heaven where she is now well, blissfully happy, and in the presence of Jesus, surrounded by so many precious people she loves. Someday I will see her again.
Until then, my wonderful big sister ~ I will always hold you close to my heart.
Cathy
