Why am I smiling?

"Why am I smiling? Because it's a beautiful day for a drive to Seattle for my daily radiation treatment.  It's a beautiful day to be alive.  It's a beautiful day to be thankful to the Lord for walking this cancer journey with me.  It's a beautiful day to be grateful and overwhelmed at the kindness of friends and family who are praying and encouraging me along this new journey of my life.  It's a beautiful day!" 

I posted this picture and quote on Facebook one morning when I was feeling really good and my faith in the Lord was strong.  Then I went to hop in the shower and get ready for the day. As I looked down at my swollen, painful, and scarred body I started to cry.  I told the Lord, "I hate having cancer!" My tears mixed with the shower water and I cried over the pain, I cried over not understanding why I have to go through cancer, I cried over being so scared, and I cried over other emotions that I had been dealing with since I got the news that I had breast cancer.  It was only when I had depleted myself did the Lord gently say to me, "Just trust me Cathy." I know what I am doing and I have you in the palm of my hand."

Once again like so many times before the Lord heard my cry and he gave me the strength I needed to face the day. We may think we are strong but it just takes a moment for the doubt to come rushing in and fill us with fear and emotions we thought we had conquered!  But the Word says, "When I am weak He is strong!" I am so thankful I have Jesus to walk beside me! 

BTW - It really did end up being a beautiful day!   ~ Cathy