Time Out

Need I say more?

Cathy

More pictures!

I drove into Seattle today to Cancer Care Alliance for my first mammogram since my breast cancer journey began.  I had the dreaded mammogram and was sent to the dressing room to wait for the radiologist to review everything. The nurse came back to my room and told me the doctor wanted to take more pictures!  That's when the fear rushed in!  I was suddenly reliving 5 1/2 months ago when during a routine mammogram I was told the very same thing - the doctor wanted more pictures  - which eventually led to discovering a mass.  

So now here I was hearing it again. Another mammogram was taken and then the wait.  After what seemed like forever the doctor came in and said the most beautiful words in the universe - all is NORMAL!!  I was so relieved!  

Why the Lord doesn't just make things simple and easy I don't know!  I guess He's always testing, stretching and  strengthening our faith to trust Him.  Sometimes I do well - sometimes I don't - but I'm trying! Whatever His reasons - I'm just so thankful and happy I am cancer free!  Wahoo!!

Flowers + Sunshine = Silver Lining

I hope you're enjoying the beautiful  flowers and sunshine

and finding the *silver lining* in everything you do :)

~ Cathy

His Plan

Have you ever had one of those nights where you toss and turn and just can't get to sleep?  The other night was one of those nights for me. Finally I got up and decided to read for awhile thinking maybe that would make me sleepy.  I really had nothing in mind so I went to my bookcase and immediately saw my mother's Bible.  I pulled it out and opened the well-worn cover and taped on the inside page was a poem.  This is what it said:

HIS PLAN

When I stand at the judgment seat of Christ,

And He shows me His plan for me

The plan of my life as it might have been

Had He had His way, and I see

How I blocked Him here, and I checked Him there,

And I would not yield my will - 

Will there be grief in my Savior's eyes,

Grief, though He loves me still?

He would have me rich, and I stand there poor,

Stripped of all but His grace,

While memory runs like a hunted thing

Down the paths I cannot retrace.

Then my desolate heart will well-nigh break

With tears that I cannot shed;

I shall cover my face with my empty hands,

I shall bow my uncrowned head . . .

Lord, of the years that are left to me

I give them to Thy hand

Take me and break me, mold me to

The pattern Thou hast planned.

Next to the poem mom had written her name. This was so like her. This was truly her heart. She lived her life centered around a desire to be in the center of God's will - to focus on eternal things as her utmost priority.  

How I've often wished I could be more like her.  I tend to get caught up in the enjoyment of life - family, things, friends, fun, and the busyness of it all.  Not that any of those things are wrong . . . the Lord wants all of us to live joyful and fulfilled lives.  But where my mom most often saw the eternal value in every day life - I tend to not always be aware of it.  I know I miss many opportunitites that come my way to hear His voice, to show His kindness, to see people I pass through His eyes. To be His hands extended.

My prayer is  . . . some day I will live my life more like my mom modeled - with eternal value always in my heart and on my mind  . . . and have a blast doing it!

Happy Mother's Day Mom ~ Cathy

I'm Learning That . . .

I'm learning that . . .

Hardship is awful when you're in it,

 but He uses our struggles to build things in us that

I'm not sure could happen without them.

I'm learning that . . .

My joy and peace comes from being connected to Him, 

and knowing He is in control, and He is good

 no matter what I may face.

I'm learning that . . . 

The peace He's given me these past few months 

despite breast cancer has changed me.

It doesn't mean I haven't struggled but

I'm learning to trust the hardest parts of my story, 

and it is beautiful.

~ Cathy

God''s Hands Extended

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Poo?" he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be there for you."

~ A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

  This cancer journey has thus far been at times difficult, painful, and fearful, yet I can honestly say that I have never felt more loved and cared for in my life. Yes - it's been so hard at times but it has also been filled with joy as I've experienced the love of Jesus through so many who have come along side and walked it with me. The outpouring of love, many acts of kindness, sacrificial giving of time, driving me to and from Seattle, the prayers, the meals, the flowers, the encouraging gifts, the cards, phone calls and texts, have all meant so much and made this journey more precious as each one truly was God's hands extended to me! Thank you doesn't seem quite enough but please know my heart is truly grateful.  I have seen Jesus in each friend and family member who has walked this journey with me.  My heart is overwhelmed with gratefulness.

A scripture quilt made for me by some very special friends.       ~ Cathy

Spring Has Sprung

Done with the Burn!

I am officially done with radiation treatments! Woop! Woop!  The daily drive to Seattle for weeks and weeks, the burned skin and blisters are now over!! The healing begins!  My journey continues with oncology appointments. every three months, mammograms twice a year, and daily pills for the next five years. I am now considered a breast cancer survivor and I plan to be one for many years to come!! 
~ Cathy

This Says It All

Why am I smiling?

"Why am I smiling? Because it's a beautiful day for a drive to Seattle for my daily radiation treatment.  It's a beautiful day to be alive.  It's a beautiful day to be thankful to the Lord for walking this cancer journey with me.  It's a beautiful day to be grateful and overwhelmed at the kindness of friends and family who are praying and encouraging me along this new journey of my life.  It's a beautiful day!" 

I posted this picture and quote on Facebook one morning when I was feeling really good and my faith in the Lord was strong.  Then I went to hop in the shower and get ready for the day. As I looked down at my swollen, painful, and scarred body I started to cry.  I told the Lord, "I hate having cancer!" My tears mixed with the shower water and I cried over the pain, I cried over not understanding why I have to go through cancer, I cried over being so scared, and I cried over other emotions that I had been dealing with since I got the news that I had breast cancer.  It was only when I had depleted myself did the Lord gently say to me, "Just trust me Cathy." I know what I am doing and I have you in the palm of my hand."

Once again like so many times before the Lord heard my cry and he gave me the strength I needed to face the day. We may think we are strong but it just takes a moment for the doubt to come rushing in and fill us with fear and emotions we thought we had conquered!  But the Word says, "When I am weak He is strong!" I am so thankful I have Jesus to walk beside me! 

BTW - It really did end up being a beautiful day!   ~ Cathy 

Birthday Girls

 Sometimes all I need to bring a smile to my face and happiness in my heart 

is to spend a day with my grandchildren.  

This day was no exception!

Celebrating birthdays with my two youngest granddaughters. 

Love these precious little girls!

~ Happy Happy Birthday ~

Love, Grammy

Can I get off, please?

If I can conquer my fears on this zip-line . . . 
I can conquer any fear I have over breast cancer!

And I did it! 

~ Cathy

Just what the doctor ordered!

I went cruising!  Yep!  After these past few weeks of awful news my husband and I hit the beaches of the Caribbean!  And what fun it was! This trip had been planned for over a year with some very special friends and I wasn't about to let cancer stop me from going!  I did ask my doctors if I could go. . . but I might have gone even if they would of said NO! Oh, not really but I sure did not want to miss my very first cruise! The beautiful crystal blue Caribbean waters, the sunshine, the tropical scenery, and the fun we had with our dear friends made the trip so special.  And don't forget the unlimited food!  Yes!  Feasts of yummy delights that were offered . . . and the best part was . . .you could have as much as you wanted!  The first few days I stuffed myself til I was miserable but after awhile I learned to control my over indulgence!  (Kind of!)

My very first cruise was more wonderful than I could of imagined!  By the way . . . did I happen to mention that I got sick and was in my cabin for two days?  Oh well - I would do it over again for the joy and fun we experienced!  It really was just what the doctor ordered! Can't wait until we go again!   ~ Cathy