I took the day off today to breathe.
Breathe in being just me and exhale the stress that has entwined itself around my mind.
Unwind. Regroup. Relax.
My body and mind needed it desperately.
If you know me well, you know I've been helping caregive my 93 year old father. Just recently he was in the hospital with Congestive Heart Failure. He's home now and doing better. But going through this with him has taken a toll not only on my normal everyday life but on my heart, too.
I feel like I'm in the "Groundhog Day" movie;
getting up and doing the same thing over and over and over again,
day after day after day.
I'm not complaining.
Really, I'm not.
The hours spent with my Dad are treasured and cherished.
But I'm feeling overwhelmed and sad, knowing his life,
his memory, and his heart will only continue to grow
more tired as time goes on.
So, I do what must be done.
Each morning I go over and give him his pills
I cook him meals, I clean his apartment, I do his laundry
I take him to doctor appointments and the many other little
things that need to be done for him each day.
Sometimes we go for drives
sometimes we walk around Costco
(he likes to eat the samples)
we've even gone to Starbucks and
sat and had coffee together.
Many times we just sit and talk.
Mostly he talks and I listen to the many stories of his past
that I've heard over and over again.
But I continue to listen.
He is no longer the strong, invincible father of my childhood.
I am the strong one and he, the weak.
But he is still the most kind, gentle, and sweet father
he's always been.
(With just a touch of stubbornness thrown in!)
But he is still the most kind, gentle, and sweet father
he's always been.
(With just a touch of stubbornness thrown in!)
I will continue to do my part in making these twilight days
of his life as happy as I can because I know each day I have left with him
is a "GIFT".
I just needed this day to breathe.
Thank you, Lord.
Cathy
P.S. What did I do today to unwind, regroup, relax? Why . . . I wrote this blog!
